Relationships are no longer simple and easy nowadays where two people fall in love and they stay true to each other no matter what. If you are searching for a genuine and long-lasting relationship with someone then you have to give a lot of thoughts before you actually commit to a person. You may be thinking why am I talking so negative! I sure do. I have seen all the ugly fights and unnecessary dramas every now and then.

I am trying to be as realistic as possible in this article where I want to share my thoughts on an abusive relationship. It starts with the same beautiful “Once upon a time” type of story. You meet someone and it turns out that your long-awaited dream has finally come true. You begin to realize that this is the person who will love you and whom you will love forever. It’s all wonderful unless you are ignoring the signs. It happens because you are so deeply in love with that person that you start to ignore their real nature. And, that’s when you are about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

There are two types of abuses that you will find in this world: (1) Physical abuse, and (2) Emotional abuse. The first one is where a person harms his/her partner physically. They can hurt the other person physically which can be seen. This happens mostly in marriages where a husband or a wife becomes violent for some reason and takes it out on their partner. However, I don’t want to discuss that here. I am going to share my views on emotional abuse. Now is the time for you to know the truth about an abusive relationship.

1. You will always be responsible for everything

A relationship is supposed to work the same at both ends. If you are doing something that your partner does not like then ideally you should stop doing it in case you don’t have to sacrifice more than required. And, it applies to both the partners. However, when your partner is emotionally abusive then it will be always you who has to compromise everything every time. 

If something goes wrong any time then your partner will create a situation where you will be the one who will be guilty. They will even leave your side so that they can save themselves from taking the blame. Be it in your friend circle, family, or even in front of your children they will put all the blame on you for whatever went wrong. Before you even realize or defend yourself, you are already a victim of their well-planned strategy.

2. You will feel emotionally isolated

An abusive person knows when to pull the strings and how to isolate you from all your loved ones. They are so insecure themselves that they will not consider you getting along with other people. It is a slow process. They will manipulate your emotions in such a way that it will be too late for you to understand what has happened.

They will always keep you occupied in some or the other things where you will have no time to talk to your friends or family. Gradually you will lose touch with them and one day you will be completely isolated emotionally. There will be nobody around you with whom you can share your feelings. Not only this but when you are in an abusive relationship, your partner will always be unavailable for you emotionally. You will feel lonely all the time and you will also feel bad about losing your friends and family.

3. You will no longer be able to express your feelings

This is the time where you not only feel isolated and left alone but you will not be able to express the same to your partner. It is because now they are in control of your feelings. They have created such an atmosphere around you that you are completely helpless. An emotionally abusive partner will never allow you to express what exactly you feel.

If you try to talk to them then they will say that you are complaining. Sometimes when you are sharing your feelings then they will tell you that they have also gone through some of the worst phases of their lives. They have seen a lot of misery in the past. That way they will try to get sympathy for themselves instead of understanding your feelings. They will simply divert you from expressing what’s inside your head.

4. You will be cheated on many times

You will be confused, frustrated, and irritated with your current circumstances that you will have no time to check on your partner’s activities. They will have an open ground to cheat on you. They don’t love you in the first place otherwise taking advantage of your feelings will never be on their minds.

If you catch them cheating on you and try to confront them then they will give you some nasty excuses like this is not serious or I have to do it for the sake of my job or you are just overreacting or you will not understand the reason behind their actions, etc. Let me tell you one thing, once a cheat always a cheat. If they can play mind games with you and make you think otherwise then it’s a guarantee that they will keep doing it. Being loyal to you was never on their agenda. 

5. You will start to realize that you’re being used

There comes a time when you are no more interested in feeling anything. You have given all the chances he/she should get but you still can’t trust them. You try so much that it hurts you badly. Once a wonderful relationship has turned out a nightmare for you. When you look back and analyze what went wrong then all you find is you have been used.

You start to feel that your partner has only taken advantage of you and taken you for granted. The feeling of being used starts emerging in your heart and mind. If you are feeling that your partner was with you for the sake of the society or due to some benefits you fulfill then it’s the time you should leave. It’s time to move on.

No matter how long you have been in a relationship, if you think you have experienced some or all of the above then you must walk away from him/her. Your relationship is supposed to be your go-to place when you are feeling down, when you need support, or when you want to feel whole.

It’s true that no relationship is perfect but it doesn’t mean that you have to struggle for every small and single thing. It doesn’t mean that you have to fight for your basic rights. It doesn’t mean that you have to bear all the burdens and take responsibility for your partner’s wrong doings.